Fragments of Bones
by Miss M Cricket
Summary: “James T Kirk cares for no one, and for nothing but himself.”.. Kirk/McCoy


Title: Fragments of Bones  
Author:**miss_m_cricket** on LJ  
Pairing: Jim Kirk/Bones McCoy (Reboot!)  
Rating: R for torture and angst  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Summary: _"James T Kirk cares for no one, and for nothing but himself.".._

A/N: For me, this is like mega angsty. But today seemed like a good day to write it so here goes.

**Fragments of Bones **

The material of his pillow is soft under his cheek, not coarse like the pallet back on the remnant of the Narada, and it smells clean and familiar, something he appreciates more than he can possibly say. Never had he thought he would be so grateful for the simple feel of smooth material brushing against his skin.

_My head cracks against the hard flagstone floor of my cell as they toss me back in there, bruised and bloody. I can feel every inch of my body aching from the beating and I can feel every inch of my heart breaking from the verbal abuse. Slowly I drag myself over to the corner, finding the rough straw pallet. It is probably filthy but right now I don't care, it is some comfort, and right now I need it. _

He doesn't move when the door opens, hearing it whoosh as it admits a person into his room. He can hear her breathing, slow and calm, not rushed or even short. It's soothing to hear and he feels himself relaxing even before she begins speaking. "Doctor McCoy." Nyota murmured softly. "The Captain and the First Officer informed me of your wish to resign your position as Chief Medical Officer."

"Did they ask you to try and make me reconsider?" His voice is rough; he can hear the harshness in it. His vocal chords have not healed from the trauma of the last month. Tearing and swelling were the words bandied about his medbay, but fortunately it seems that he has not lost his ability to speak. And for that he is grateful.

_I didn't want to scream didn't want to give them that kind of power over me. I knew they took pleasure in it, seeing the Doctor of the Enterprise strung up like a prize ham. But who wouldn't scream under their torture._

_"You will scream." Nero purrs in my ear, and I hear the mad glee in his voice, "You will scream and you will beg until your voice has gone. You will tell me everything about the Enterprise and then you will tell me about everything else you know simply because you will want your suffering to end. And as you scream your way to the grave Doctor, you will know that the reason you suffer in this way is because of Kirk."_

"They know you will not." Uhura speaks softly, compassion in her voice. "But they are both really upset by what's happening. They both care about you. Jim especially..."

"Do not lie to me Lieutenant." Bones tries to shout it but his voice, his horribly strained and broken voice, cracks miserably when he tries. "James T Kirk cares for no one, and for nothing but himself."

"He cares about you." She is pleading with him, voice earnest. "He does Doctor, he cares so much. He went crazy when we lost you on Corribas, when we couldn't find you. He sent three teams out there searching the whole planet. Nurse Chapel had to finally sedate him when it came time for the Enterprise to leave the system."

_"The Enterprise has left the system." Nero gloats, pacing around me where I am hanging in my bonds, "The standard three days have been observed and now she is gone on her merry way. You are labelled as Lost, presumed Dead, and Kirk just has to deal with the minor inconvenience of instating a new Chief Medical Officer."_

_Drugged and dazed I am unable to argue and unable to stop the words from slipping into my mind like a poison, corrupting my brain and twisting it to Nero's perverse satisfaction._

Uhura has left, and now Jim Kirk is here. He can tell by the accelerated breathing, the small noises that the man makes as he sinks down into the seat by his bedside. Bones doesn't move.

"Bones..." Jim's voice is wobbling; he can hear the pain in it. "Please, I know that the last month has been hard."

"You know nothing. Captain." McCoy's voice is low.

"I know Nero tortured you Bones, I know he told you things about me, about Spock. Told you that we didn't care, that we weren't searching for you, but we were. We were!" Jim's voice broke on the last word and suddenly there is a warm hand on his back, "Bones."

"Don't you fucking touch me!" The snarl is visceral and violent, as is the jerk of his body to get away from that warm familiar hand of his friend. He presses closer to the wall, the cool safe solid wall. Safer than Kirk, who is as reliable as quicksand and just as deceptive. "I want to leave Kirk, next space port we dock at, I want off."

"I can't allow you to do that Doctor McCoy." Jim is standing and moving away. "I'll be back when you wake again."

"Don't bother!" Bones yells after him, his voice only coming out as a squeak, as the doors whooshed shut behind the man, and the cool touch of a hypospray knocks him out once more.

_Mind-blowing pain, jolting, rough, agony._

_I hear a mix of noises, the roaring of the Narada's engine, and the thundering of feet on the tiled floor as people run towards me._

_He's calling my name but I cannot answer, the pain is consuming me, I'm drowning in soul-shattering agony…_

_…I'm moving, is this a nightmare?_

_A voice speaks to me_

_"Hold on."_

_Onto what? The pain is ripping me apart._

_I'm afraid._

_"You'll be fine." The voice is familiar, young, male. It's soothing. I want to see him._

_"Stop moving." His voice again. I stop, only because he asked._

_What is happening?_

_Why do I hurt so much...?_

_…. The pain has lessened a little but I feel light-headed, I don't want to move._

_"You'll be ok. When you wake up again the worst will be over."_

_What does he mean, when I wake up again? I'm not going to be sleeping. I don't under…_

_…the pain is back and it's horrible. Noises are more defined, feeling is sharp._

_I want to die._

_"No you don't." it's the soothing voice of the familiar man. A hand touches my forehead and gently smoothes the hair out of my eyes. The hand is cool._

_He moves away, don't leave me!_

_"I won't." He says. "How's the pain?"_

_It's agony. I clench my fist and raise it slightly, I can't take much more of this, my body screams._

_"Not too bad?"_

_Tell me you're joking, this is hell!_

_My body arches, my teeth grit together, pain sears through my limbs, I'm dying, this torment must end, it has too!_

_Please help me!_

_The pain ebbs slowly as cool hands that aren't his massage my body. I hear a voice, his voice, echoing through the pain._

_"Relax…come on…relax."_

_My body relaxes slowly, bit by bit._

_"Good…relax…breathe…"_

_I slump into the softness of the bed._

_"You need to sleep." The voice is firm, the other hands leave my skin. No!_

_I feel a pressure on my neck. What is going on?_

_"You need to sleep."_

_Darkness closes in, what is happening to me…?_

_…I'm back in my body. I shift a little…_

_White hot pains, spinning, help me!_

_Noises, scrambling sounds, a loud, long scream of purest anguish and agony, is that my voice?_

_"What happened?" he's here, it's ok. My cheeks are wet and my body is trembling. He's comforting me, soothing me, it hurts._

_"What happened?" he asks again. I don't know, it was bearable until…_

_I moved._

_"You moved?" he asks, exasperation in his voice. Hey, I don't know what the hell is going on! Why can't I move?_

_The pressure on my neck again, falling...._

_..."Hello?" I call softly, feeling the hoarseness of my throat._

_No answer. Where is he?_

_It's strange because suddenly his absence is filling me with unreasonable fear._

_What happens if the pain comes back? What happens if Nero comes back to finish me off?_

_Dimly I can hear the heart rate meter beginning to speed up as my body reacts to the fear coursing through me._

_I move ever so slightly, and the pain explodes behind my eyes again. My muscles scream in agony and my voice echoes with them._

_The door whooshes open and someone is there._

_I open my mouth, but close it again when my back arches as the muscles spasm._

_I screw my eyes shut, pleading, hoping, begging for the pain to stop soon._

_And it does._

_His cool hand strokes my forehead and his voice pervades my consciousness._

_"Bones…shhhhh…relax now…you're safe…"_

"Jim!" he wakes up screaming, feeling the wetness on his cheeks and feeling the sobs welling up in his chest. The door whooshes open and a hand brushes his hair, but it's not his hand. It's not Kirk's hand.

If Nero was right, and Jim never cared, never loved him, why would he have waited all those weeks in the med-bay for him to heal. He knows that the last of the Romulan drugs are gone from his system, his mind feels clear, open, alive for the first time since they grabbed him on Corribas. It had been Jim in the med bay it couldn't be anyone else. Which can only mean one thing.

Nero lied.

Jim cares, Jim has always cared.

"Jim." He sobs, "Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim..." He can hear Uhura calling Spock over the comm. asking him to send down the Captain. He can't stop crying though. All those tears bottled up from all that pain and grief and suddenly he can't hold it back anymore.

The doors whoosh open and Jim is there, he can feel him, smell him, and that silky hair is pressed against his throat and he can feel Jim crying too.

Slowly Bones lifts his hands and cups Jim's cheeks, smoothing away the salty droplets of sorrow with shaking fingers. "You can't leave me." Jim whispers fervently. "You can't."

Bones smiles sadly, caressing the face that he loves so much, running the soft pads of his fingertips over the eyebrows, eyelashes, nose and lips of his captain and friend. "Dammit Jim." He said sadly, "What use is a Doctor that cannot see."

He feels Jim's lips kiss the closed over places where his eyes used to be, before the Romulan's attacked him, and then felt them softly move to his mouth. "Every use." He murmured, "The Enterprise doesn't need Doctor McCoy as much as Jim needs his Bones."

There are no words he can think of to say to that, so he just holds Jim tight, like he'll never let go again.


End file.
